STOP FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE ZOMBIE THING.

As far as I can tell, no one has been placed in quarantine, and the only thing that happened was that a depressed man psyched out on drugs rode a bicycle down a Miami causeway, and then attacked a homeless man, eating 75% of his face.

There is no risk of zombie infection, and since the incident was (we believe) caused by bath salts, an up-and-coming drug derived from LSD which often induces psychotic rage (according to the news sites I looked at), no risk of an apocalypse either.

In fact, the only person in danger is the homeless man, who is currently fighting for his life. 

The bicyclist, Rudy Eugene, was shot and killed at the scene, and I’m currently sending all of my good thoughts and well-wishes to those who loved him. 

THERE. ARE. NO. ZOMBIES.